It’s Friday. Usually, my Fridays were consumed with cleaning, cooking and generally sprucing up so my husband could enjoy the weekend in a nice, clean, calm home. The entire day excited me – as I could not wait to spend time with him after a long week at work. Today, I am alone, no one to clean for, cook for, wait for. I am watching “Cold Case” (one of our favorite shows) and U2 fills the air waves (one of our favorite bands). Even though I know the words, they have much greater meaning for me now. Bitter sweet memories fill me. What on earth do I do with these memories? Happy ones now cast a dark shadow over what I do not have. At the same time, they fill a deep void, making things bearable. They even provoke a giggle from time to time. I wonder if the music will always trigger the loss.
Funny where life takes us. The road I am on was never even on my map! Am I lost???? Sure hope not. Is it Divine Intervention? Is is Fate? Maybe it is just Life! On this road, there are no tomorrows, only todays. The bends are so great, I can not see around them. There is no looking forward, only back. Once I have traversed a path, it becomes straight and clear. I can see where I have been. I just do not know where I am going. I have my backpack, good hiking shoes (the trail is a little rough right now) and U2 is playing – loud and clear. The music is very soothing somehow. I think I will just sit under this leaf-shedding tree, listen to the music and mentally drift for a while. I may drift to the past or to the future. I will put it out to chance – and just let it happen. I can always hope I have an epiphany – U2?